


Dorito bag of dEATH

by AppleBottomJeans



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleBottomJeans/pseuds/AppleBottomJeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of a simple dorito bag and it's journey through life</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That salty taste you leave

**Author's Note:**

> hey there!!! this is my first fic so please be nice :33 feedback is welcomed, comment if you'd like to see more!!!

dave abd john walking home from skule. dave look at john and say “bruh do you want to go to your houme?” john look taken abask “you want to come to my home??!?” dave look off into distance “of coyrse i do juhn, your house is fun” dave think about how john mention dad went grocery shop. john get ecited “omg u can sleep over and we can slumber praty!!!11!” DAVE ONLY NOD AND CONTINUE WALKING

they get to johns house and dad is not the home. john go to his room to get movie probs something shyitty luke con air or shit. dave make is way to kitchen to see grocery bag on floor. he empty contents and sees a large raed bag of dorits. davW look around quck to check is anyone there before shovimg bag into shitr. dave walk to front door and yell to john. “i not feel well i go home” dave run away. 

dave stop running when tired and breth heavey. dave pull out bag “finally, we ar a lone” the dorito bag dont say nothing bc it a frincken corito bag. “you knw i lobe it when u talk drity to me@ 

dave strioke the bag gentle. bag maed crinkle sound when touchd “ur so ticklisch bae” dave leande in close and whisper. “lets take this ssomwher more… private ;) “ 

they go to dave house and bro is hopme mackin on jak liek always. dave sneak to room and place the fair bag on bed. dave up lock door and go turn on musiccs. “i normall yhave some cool hip muzic but i thpought you might want something to hkelp the mood if yu knmow what i mean” dave say not turning around from speakers. he opress play btutton and turn dramatically. he tak off glasses and throw them onto floor, flunging himself at bed.

the soft tune play, dorito bag recognises frim the fiorst chords. dave crawl over to dorit bag seductivly as the long intri of carless whipser play in the backgroun. dorit bag shiver in anticipation and dave is npw leaniog over bag ad daev picks up bag and carsses it before pinchin the sides amd open slowly. “i been wait for this so long bby” dave reaches in dorito bag now open mouth and puill out a single, prefectly trianguler dorito. dave let out soft gas p”you are soperfect” 

tears burning daves red eys. he open his mouth and take smal bute. swirling around his tung before swallowing. SUDDENLY dave start coghing. his boddy skahing as he struggle to breath. dave clutch throat and collaps on bed. all he hear as he take his last breath the last chorus of the song

¬i shuoldbve know better than a to cheat a friend and waste tha schance that id ben given¬

dave last thought were that he know it was worng to steal the doritoes and he should have just share with john. dave eyes close slowly and he die.


	2. Im falling for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its johns time to shine ;)

Lte that evning joshn thought to shimself ‘heyy, I wonder how my bro dave strerder is doin.’ Isnce dave had lfet in a hurry he had been thinsking about him. ‘mayb if I calll hime he mght answer’ John call dave and wait, byt all he goot was voicelmeil. A few more call and leave messages before john start worry. ‘my dave wood never not talk to me, I m lke his only frind’

It was this poitn tht john decid to go ova to dave hose to see how his mate was doing. He knook on the dave front door and wos greated by jek in YOga pents.,. only yoga pants. “wwoww my god you are not dave” jake looke at him and smile “ikr, im better” *wink womk* hjon try not swoon at hte sexy best in ront of him.

“I-I hav to uh, see dav now,,, im sure he waiting fo me,,,” joh shifllle past jake anf breath sigh of relef as he reach corrider lead to dave room. johjn knock on dor and waitt for be let in. fatfer a few minut of wait ng he open the dooe and saw……….

daves dead body oN THE POOR DODRITO BAG!!!!!!!!!

witrhout mements heseitatin jon launcjed himself onto the bed. he puch davs stome cold body aside, atking the doreto bag in his arms. “bby i missd u so mauch” HE WHispered carlessly to hte dorito bag. dorito bag could do nothing because dorroiteo bag is a ficking dorito bag. john stroked the dorito bags sidde, “are oyu blusshyng ther bby, hpow sweet of you…” he placaed a gentle kisson the corner of thge bag before stsanding up and walking pbver to the stero. 

“this msusic is sHIT” he asid. he put dorito bag doen softly ans changed the ,usic to somnething more… approprriate ;) with sonne good muysic finallay plkayinbg, johm turned roundl to see davce glasses on floor !!1! “noww ots my timne to shsine…” he put on the glassses sensualy ovber his oen galsses, turning back to dorito back wtriu a poercfect hair flip. “its ti,me for a real man to treat you rioght” ;)))()())

tHer wasa KNock on the DORR, joahn new he haad to get away, and fast! he opeemn the window, tuckin dorito bag in his shirt to protect sodirito bag from fall. he jump out windoer to his HEATH.

fron the sterop the soft tune continue play

“Mmm, what you say?  
Mm, that you only meant well?   
Well, of course you did…..”


	3. its written in the wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some context may be needed for this chapter: It was a fine summer’s day as gamzee strolled lazily down the streets of the place he lives. Warm sun and a cool breeze, the forecast had called for a 69% chance of egbert and a 4.20% chance of relatively crushed doritos. It has yet to egbert, but gamzee will wait for the egbert. Some may say he seems kind of gay, waiting for eggbur, but he is really waiting for the love of his life. Dorito bag. He had only seen pictures and videos of dorito bag,glances through windows. He had yet to take a bite of dorito bags delicate shapes, but he knew this was right, the one for him was waiting.
> 
> As aforementioned [see above] gamzee is in love with the glorious dorito bag, and today, his life is about to change forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yur welc

gaymse waitedd oiutsid e dav hosuee forn his looove. eeven thp hos bf travos was at house.

titme papssed snd gaammz considdiddderd leave. ‘noi mustt w8 4 mi luv’ he thinketh. 

appproxxamately 69%$ lateer, johm fallz from teh windoer. ‘A yesh thyej wewather lasy newer lies to me’ he thought ass he walked over to the died jon.   
whweere be doreet? in shir of cpurse. egber migh b egg but he no be stupd. 

“co=om to father sweat angle been” gammsze ‘s voicc cracked slightly as he reverled the usedd dorruito bahg. thhte windd had pucked up buy this time and then happy couplse seet off omn a romantic walkk togethhjr

[monolage, somg playimg: hoeny im god]

whwen montague over, gamze real eyes thatt theh somg theu chosem wasd the opposote of what gping on (sory not soree tavrose (u dinnt thinkl i knew about thakt now ddi you hhuh(lise amd d’seat)))  
whene doret fofund out abbott thiss, wasd not aa preetty site. 

All the beeing crunkled att wasd too many werbs forr hime, he knew he nned too horten.   
“i so sosry muy loveley babbo” anad with taht, thetir first ccouples fight endedded.

‘mayebe it tiem to taek thing to nect leverl perhap’ ‘i am the fill od the good brain thing idea todsay’ a littlee self preaise can doo wonders fpr ypyr mood y’know.

‘hecCkING ! ‘ whilt hee was distructed the wwind was going more. he tiedd too holohd bag, dorit bag, in ome last embrase as the win nd therettened to stael hiss lobe abway :-(( (pour gamzee)  
he try sing. he tri so hard when he taek deep breath and get high outside wtf is going on oh mi god he tyri tho. 

“neva gonn giveup, never gonna let you go  
Never gonna not run around and find you  
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna wanna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you ;) “

hes fingerws slip and doritte fly so hi in the fuckoon sky. hee chase herr anand she coming back! wqhwhen you loveswomeoen leet them go then et agaon yo. dorit so fast wen rushm bak misssed his handd and went STR8 to him facee. afew crumb on grround like flower petall romans, noww wasd gamze chamce to eats.

toot heckking bacd the wimd too trong to gete bag off face ‘tahanks graviy’. isn he effort to get bad off fave him walks on the roadd abd wellll….. 

NNweed me go on? Yeeh, him hit ACR an dyee.. doris lett goo off third died lovernrustled withj the wiknd away fromm scecene.

rember kidz dod not cross roads when dowito face thanks thisso has been a psA


End file.
